He showed them to me as a man's values, not just manners for inside a woman's house. He put a value on what my mother and grandmother had tried to instill in me so long ago. Then in general charge of the pack beasts and wagon animals. "He taught me numbers first, then reading. The gray one has words with Heart of the Pack. He was stealing a slab of bacon at the time." He got up from his chair, and went to his blankets. I suppose I was about eight when he ran between a horse and its cart and was kicked to death. She tried to drive the dog away, but like you, I had a will of my own in those matters. My grandmother, I am sure, had her suspicions. Taking what you wanted, when you wanted it, and not worrying past getting it. His only value was survival, his only loyalty to me. "So I bonded, very young, to the only strong male in my world who was interested in me. "Right on target." The sound he made might have been a laugh, if not so freighted with bitterness. His voice was the only sound in the fire lit room. Why he suddenly spoke so openly, I did not know. Now the words were spilling out of him, washing away my years of wondering and suspecting. Drink had never loosened his tongue, but only made him more silent. All the years I had known him as a taciturn man.
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"Only in the way that people who know one another best know how to hurt one another best," I pleaded. Why soldier for no pay and extra duties?"
He docked my pay and gave me more duties. He cocked his head as a dog will when it hears something far off. I stood before him, ready to hate him, and he just looked at me. Everyone expected Chivalry to discharge me the second time. what we might have been in different circumstances. And something like recognition passed between us. I stood there before him and I met his eyes. Almost all his troops were older than I I had expected to confront a middle-aged man. "The first time I was hauled before the Prince, bloody and struggling still, I was shocked to see we were of an age. A time when it is far too early to arise, but so late that going to bed makes small sense. There is a dead spot in the night, that coldest, blackest time when the world has forgotten evening and dawn is not yet a promise. Or as if he'd been pushed past anger and hurt into numbness. It was as if my angry words had never been spoken. I felt no hostility from him, no animosity. He sat on it and began taking his boots off. Maybe he was lonely for someone his own age. Then the rest of the day, he'd have me at his heels. So he taught me what he knew of it, and arranged for me to learn it from a man who knew its strategies. They'd just handed me a pike and sent me out to fight. I'd never had any formal training at it before. Weapons practice till neither of us could stand. He took a thieving, unkempt scoundrel and. It was what he believed a man should want to be. I know you've heard people say Chivalry was cold and stiff and correct to a fault. "When I woke up, the dog had a master again. He sat down on one of the chairs and stared into the fire. I watched him as he turned it several times in his hands. He went to the table and picked up the bottle of elderberry wine that Chade had left. Grizzle's troops were gentlemen compared with the dregs that soldiered for Jecto, but I still preferred the company of horses to theirs. Somehow I ended up taking care of my troop's horses. I went to the Six Duchies, where there are no slaves, nor slavers. When I escaped, I did what she had always dreamed of doing. I spent several months, no, almost a year, learning my grandmother's hatred of slavers. It was my only key to survival amongst the kind of men I soldiered with then. No one expects a boy to fight with a beast's ferocity and guile. Not knowing or caring why we fought, if there was any right or wrong to it." He snorted softly. "I first fought for some petty land chief in Chalced. About a hand of years later, the blood plague went through Chalced. I made my mother and grandmother's life a bit better with my new trade, though they never suspected what I did. In a sense, I transferred my bond to her. "My grandmother forced me to survive Slash's death. "I learned to talk," he said after a bit. I heard him making up his bed and lying down on it.
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